The Mouse-Rat Black Hole

This morning on the way to work, I noticed a dead mouse in the middle of the road and my mind began to go in overdrive.

  • How did I even spot the mouse?  Did I wake up with super sonic vision powers or was this mouse a victim of medical experimentation and had grown to an unusual size?
  • Could the mouse have actually been a rat?  I think rats have thicker tails.  This guy was belly up in the road making his white abdomen the prominent feature.  Do rats have dark backs and white bellies?
  • Was the mouse-rat large after dining at a nearby restaurant?  Note: I’m not sure I want to visit the nearby restaurants in the near future.
  • Mouse-rat was the name of the Chris Pratt character’s band on Parks and Recreation.  I miss that show.  I do love Chris Pratt…and his new abs.  I also love Amy Poehler and want to see her new movie with Tina Fey.  I wish I could spend the day with Amy Poehler and Tina Fey.  I would want to eat at a quirky little restaurant with bad service and laugh with them about the décor.  I would hope the restaurant didn’t have a mouse-rat problem.
  • I wonder if I hallucinated the brown back on the dead mouse-rat.  Maybe it was all white and was actually an escaped “pinkie” destined to be fed to a large snake?  A movie or book ought to be written about a league of mice raised to feed reptiles working together to escape and create a new peaceful colony.  The plot would be similar to The Rats of NIMH, but without the NIMH part.  Perhaps this could be a sequel.  I’ll add this idea to my list of scripts I ought to write but will never find the time to do so.
  • I miss Pinky and the Brain.  I wonder if I’d still find the show as funny as an adult or if I’ve moved on intellectually.  Doubtful.  I’m still a child at heart.  Not in the Peter Pan syndrome sense but as seen in my immature humor.
  • Divided highways make it difficult and inconvenient to turn around and pass a mouse-rat again.
  • If I can’t confirm the existence of the mouse-rat, Trey will never believe that it was seen!?  He’ll remind me of other animal encounters that I was not able to confirm.  (ie. The black snake that I witnessed falling from our ceiling into the middle of the sunroom never to be seen again, the chicken that jumped onto my windshield and rode there 2 blocks before I could scare it off with the windshield wipers, and the sheep that was in the middle of the road near Logan’s school.)
  • Do other people spend this much time thinking about nonsensical things?  Isn’t my ability to get lost in an absurd black hole of imagination a sign of creative genius?
  • Tigers and lions are capable of breeding.  I wonder if mice and rats or mice and gerbils are capable of breeding?  Ligers are beautiful but die at an early age due to their hearts being incapable of pumping enough blood for their gigantic bodies.  I wonder if mice-rats or mice-gerbils would have similar issues.  I don’t like rodents and don’t want to live in a world with rodent hybrids but feel that this information will be beneficial in a future conversation.
  • I need to blog this episode of free association.  Granted, I haven’t added to my blog in months and this would make a very odd comeback, but perhaps someone else’s encounter with a mouse-rat will be validation for someone else’s mouse-rat encounter.  Wow!  How many people have mouse-rat encounters?  I’ve heard that Conway has a rat problem but could it be this bad!?

And this, my friends, is why I have difficulty doing anything productive with my life.




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