A couple of weeks ago, Jack’s daycare called with news that he had woken from his nap with a fever. I picked him up and took him right to the doctor’s office. By the time we saw the doctor, the magical powers of Tylenol had begun to work and he was feeling slightly better. Jack eagerly stood on the scale when prompted and kept repeating “I see doctor now? I see doctor now?” I chuckled to myself about his excitement to see the doctor compared to Logan’s near phobia of shots that often prevents him from even reading stories about characters who visit the doctor. When the doctor came into the exam room, Jack narrated, as he does these days, the entire visit. “Doctor tickle Jack’s ear?” “Doctor look Jack’s mouth?” “Doctor talk Mommy?” Once the ear infection was located, treatment options determined, and the doctor left the room, Jack looked at me and shared his disappointment. “Doctor not say ‘no more monkeys jumpin’ on the bed.'” Poor guy. The doctor just didn’t behave as Jack expected all doctor’s ought to behave.
You don’t need me to tell you how life is full of unexpected moments. We all are faced with surprises, twists, turns, and potholes. Each time I begin to pout about an unexpected challenge, Trey reminds me that this is a typical part of life and that I need to move on. I feel like I’m good at embracing the ironic, funny, and absurdities around me. Too often I internalize the difficult unexpected life moments but ignore the exciting surprises. Maybe I just need more practice with the exciting surprises!? Perhaps the lottery commission will gift me with a surprise winning ticket if it is to help me learn this lesson?
Lately, I’ve enjoyed watching the surprise on people’s faces (or surprised emoji’s) when I’ve revealed our third pregnancy. I’ve laughed at how many people thought we were joking because a third pregnancy has been that unexpected. Logan’s reaction, however, has been my favorite. He’d become worried because I had been so sick and assumed I had cancer. No anxiety with this one, right? Poor kid is his mama’s son!? Anyway, he burst into tears one evening before going to visit his grandparents because he was afraid I was dying and he didn’t want to be away from me. Trey and I hadn’t planned to tell him until after we’d been to the doctor but clearly we needed to ease his worries. We sat him down in the floor of his bedroom and explained that I did not have cancer and he didn’t need to worry. Hoping he remembered me being sick with Jack and then getting better, I prompted him to remember the last time I was sick like this. Despite my prompts, he just couldn’t imagine that we weren’t there to tell him bad news. Trey moved on and said “Logan, how would you feel about getting a new brother or sister?” Logan was clearly not expecting this question and replied, “We’re getting rid of Jack!?” Trey and I lost it! We weren’t expecting that response! Poor Logan! We’ve since teased him that he’d better be nice or we’ll keep Jack and get rid of him instead. He is mildly amused. He expects the teasing.
My brain is currently swimming with all the “what if’s” that come with pregnancy. “What if we can’t afford another child in daycare?” “What if we can’t afford a larger vehicle?” “What if this baby is just as wild as my other two!?” “What if Trey and I never have a clean house again?” “What if I never lose pregnancy weight?” “What if I lose one of my kids…I can hardly keep up with the two I have!?” “What if zombies invade and I can’t grab all of our necessary belongings for a life on the run AND my three children!?”
I don’t have all the answers and the difficult reality is that I may never have the answers I need to chase away this anxiety. In the meantime, I’ll focus on embracing the unexpected; welcoming the surprises, enduring the challenges, and laughing about the ironies. One thing I can expect is to be entertained daily by my two creatures who give me anything but the expected!
“Jack, did you have a good day at school?”
“Jack, did you make good choices?”
“Jack, did you push your friends?”
“YES! He’s all better now!”