Is My Husband Replacable?

Trey has a joke that he finds amusing.  When I’m doing something he doesn’t like, he’ll chuckle and say “Watch out, I’ll trade you in for a newer model!”  He knows this boils my blood…not because I’m actually worried but because my inner feminist hates being referred to as a commodity or object.  (soapbox #14)  I know Trey won’t replace me.  (Hellooooo, cue Beyonce…I’m irreplacable!)  Plus, I’ve worked hard to instill a pretty healthy fear in Trey’s heart.  He knows I’d be no picnic in a separation.  I get scared just thinking about how truly awful I could potentially be!?  I’m not the one that needs to be concerned though.  Trey needs to be on his best behavior.  Both boys seem to want to replace him.

Kindergarten exposed Logan to a lot of new information.  One such nugget of knowledge was learning about multi-parent families.  We’d never had to have a conversation about stepparents before and Logan now had a lot of questions.  True, Trey has a stepdad, but we’d always referred to him as Trey’s dad.  Logan knew that his daddy had two dads, Grandpa Don and Big Phil.  No questions asked.  Once Logan did learn about stepparents and came to the realization that Big Phil as his daddy’s stepdad, he had a new request.  Logan then wanted a stepdad of his very own.  And why wouldn’t he?  Big Phil is a great dad to Trey and a wonderful grandparent to his four grandchildren.  Big Phil is silly, attends to their questions, patient with behaviors, and always up for trying something new.  Logan has heard Trey talk about all the things Big Phil taught him growing up, such as, driving, shaving, how to treat a girl, etc. Who doesn’t want a stepdad like that!?  We tried and tried to explain to Logan that in order to have a stepdad, his mommy and daddy would have to divorce and move into different houses.  He didn’t see the downside.  He had meltdowns…MELTDOWNS over this issue.  Poor kid would sob desperately “Please let me get a stepdad, puh-lease!”  Two years later the conflict has finally passed but I still occasionally remind Trey that Logan just wants a stepdad for Christmas/Birthday/Easter/Festivus…

And Logan isn’t Trey’s only threat!  Since the moment Jack learned to say “Daddy ” he has called every man “Daddy.”  Short, tall, black, white, young, old…Jack does not discriminate. He also doesn’t practice personal volume control. He waves his chubby hand in the air and screams “DADDY!”  …All through the grocery store, church, out the car windows, etc. People tend to giggle at the cute baby and then give me a look of judgement. “Poor baby doesn’t know who is father is!?”  I’ve hidden “Are You My Mother?” in case my little bird got his ideas from the text! I’ve gotten so used to his ongoing paternity scavenger hunt, that I just reply “No, that isn’t your Daddy.” Or “Jack, Daddy is at home.” Yesterday, when I picked Jack up from daycare he continued his Daddy search. “Hi, Daddy!” “No, Jack, that isn’t your Daddy.” “Hi, Daddy!” “Shhhh, Jack. Daddy is at home.” “Hi, Daddy!” “JACK!?” The last man we passed, chuckled and said, “No, little buddy, I’m not your Daddy.” Jack looked at him and said “Daddy Trey!” Great! Maybe Jack came to a realization OR…maybe he is just beginning to categorize all his Daddies. Either way, it still looks iffy for Trey.

All jokes aside, Trey is a great Dad and an even better husband. I don’t plan to trade HIM in for a new model any time soon.

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